The story of Jacob and his unabashed favoritism towards Joseph is cited here. A commentary is referenced which suggests that because Jacob favored Joseph and gave him the special coat, eventually all of Israel was enslaved in Egypt.
That MIGHT be stretching the analogy a little, but the point is clear. Love your children, not equally, but UNIQUELY. Show them unconditional love for the gifts which they have. Cherish them for the people they are and the people they will become. Again, Rabbi Telushkin’s advice is both simple and exceedingly difficult.
Now that both of our kids are ‘older’ (23 and 19), I sometimes find myself wondering, “What if….” It’s a pointless and harmful exercise. It is a miracle to watch them both become adults - I can, and do, make suggestions, but they are both at an age where they understand that THEIR actions have consequences. I guess, the most important advice I can give is not to sweat the small stuff, to invest their energy into those activities which can positively affect them.
More than giving advice, I continue to try to model behavior that is “good.” Judaism is a religion of action more than a religion of ‘belief.” In my behavior, I can always try to model ‘the good.’
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