When Confrontation Is Desirable

Leviticus 19:17 says, "do not hate your brother in your heart."  Why, Telushkin wonders, doesn't it simply say, do not hate your brother?

Because, to hate someone in the heart, is to hold a festering hatred.  Like the prayer that rests on our heart, we have to WORK to bring something INTO our hearts.  Don't speak to the other in the heat of anger, but don't let the anger fester.  Be PRESENT to the cause of your anger, and do your. best to work through the anger with the object of your anger. But wait until you have calmed down a bit, or the other person has.  And remember, the verse from Leviticus reminds, that the person we hate is not a stranger, but a brother.  And so we must remember that the stories in beresheit are all about the troubling dynamics of families that hate rather than love.  Hate is easy - it's all about me, and how the other has mistreated me; love requires work, because it requires us to remember the others good and bad points.  Work for the love.

Love the stranger as yourself...maybe this is where Telushkin is taking us.