Do Not Stand By While Your Neighbor’s Blood Is Shed

This is one of those “WHAT?” jumps.  From not being rude to this - one of the foundational tenets in Leviticus.  As Telushkin points out - Jewish law is based on OBLIGATION, American law is based on rights.  According to American law, we are under no legal obligation to help someone in need; according to Jewish law, not acting puts you in league with Cain, when he asked, “Am I my brother’s keeper.”  Yes, according to Jewish law, you are.  You are not obligated to put your own life in danger, but at the very least - seek help for a victim.  And if you can help someone with little chance of hurting yourself, then jump in and help.

The Little Indecencies That Reveal Character

Don’t.  Be.  Rude.  Lev 19:15 reminds us that “in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor.”  Give the other the benefit of the doubt.  But when the other acts in a demonstrably rude way, be wary of further interactions.  The person who cuts you off in line, or jumps into the cab you hailed.  Give the person the benefit of the doubt (“Maybe he had an emergency and he really needed the cab”), but don’t let yourself be taken advantage of.  

For Whom Was I Named?

This question is the first lesson that I am going to ask to my “Downtown Project” families.  I am meeting the 5 kids for the first time on Sunday, September 14 - and that is the question that I want them to be able to answer, “For whom were you named?”

Telushkin writes that we are a story-telling culture, we pass down our knowledge from one generation to the next through the stories that we tell.  He is saddened by how few people know much of anything about the person for whom they are named.  As he says, if we don’t learn their stories, then their stories die with them, and that is such a loss.

Tomorrow I am going to do my first Temple Shalom interview - “Growing Up Jewish” - it should prove to be a very moving experience.  I have no idea where these stories may lead, but I’m hoping that I’ll hear some wonderful stories.  Hopefully, we’ll be able to pick up steam on this…”For whom was I named?” is a question which might lead to so many wonderful stories.

Help Someone Laugh

This is near and dear to my heart, and for a long time, I didn’t realize the importance of this simple maxim.  I have always been pretty good at making people laugh, but, like Groucho Marx, wouldn’t want to be a member of a club that would have me as a member - making people laugh was somehow frivolous.

But Telushkin quotes a midrash from Ta’anit  Elijah declares that the only two people worthy of a place in the World To Come happen to be two comedians, cheer up the depressed in a local marketplace.

I am reminded of the time nearing the end of Daredreamer.  It had been a long and difficult shoot, and we were nearing the end of the shooting schedule.  We had a particularly tricky day set up, and the production manager was a bit worried about a late afternoon shot in an ‘iffy’ location.  But when she looked at the schedule and saw that I was going to be on set at that particular location, she told me that she was relieved, because I had the ability to keep things moving and light as a result of having a good sense of humor.

I had never really experienced this kind of endorsement before.  My sense of humor could be of value?  Why hadn’t that ever been pointed out (or maybe I simply  hadn't heard it).  Anyway - that simple comment has had a powerful impact on the past 30 years.

Telushkin reminds us that Ecclesiastes points us that there is a time to weep and a time to laugh (3:4), “and sometimes, there is a time to make others laugh.”

Don’t Charge Interest

Much antisemitism is rooted in the cliched depiction of the Jew as usurer.  Shylock being the most famous example in literature.  But Jews are forbidden to loan money with interest to other Jews when necessities are involved.  Business loans are a different matter - Orthodox Jews have created a transaction called the heter iska (“permission to do business”) under which the loaner given a ‘fair’ percentage of the profits of the business, even if the business doesn’t make a profit.  

But  a loan to an Israelite, a  Jew, a member of the tribe, for something essential - food, clothing, housing - for that kind of loan, charging interest isn’t permitted.  In fact, according to Telushkin, this kind of loan is considered to be the highest form of gemilut hesed, an act of kindness.

The Most Unusual Of Blessings

There is a blessing that we are supposed to say each time we go to the bathroom.  It is a prayer, also said during morning prayers, thanking God for creating our bodies with openings and cavities, and thanking God opening and closing our bodies at the right time.  We realize how difficult life would be if these openings were to fail us.

Nothing would make a 10 year old giggle quicker than saying a prayer after pooping.  Telushkin suggests that it’s until we’re adults, and have seen the difficulties our parents might have “being regular” that we appreciate the importance of this prayer (and the miracle of our bodies).

This may be one time that Telushkin doesn’t focus on the other, but focuses entirely on our selves.  

Declaring A “Complaining Fast”

Ta’anit dibur  - a speech fast.  Some sages would engage in them as a way to refrain form inappropriate speech or as a way to focus the mind.  Telushkin suggests that complaining makes us unhappy (or unhappier than we might otherwise be), as it focuses us on the negative.  He paraphrases Dennis Prager who says that many people are unhappy unless they have a reason to be happy.  Praeger wonders why we don’t default to being HAPPY unless we have a reason to be unhappy.

As Americans we have so much to be thankful for (lot’s to complain about as well, but let’s begin from the point of thankfulness).  Living in the suburbs of Boston, I have very little to complain about, and yet…I’m going to try to work Praeger’s philosophy into my life - default to happiness unless there’s a reason to be unhappy.  Starting…now.

When, If Ever, Is It Permitted to Lie? (3)

For reasons of humility, privacy and so as not to harm another.  These are, according to Telushkin, the only times that a religious scholar (and by extension, all of us), are permitted to bend the truth.  Again, these, as seemingly all of his discussions, are about our relationship to ‘the other.’   As David Mamet has said, “Tell the truth, it’s the easiest story to remember.”

When, If Ever, Is It Permitted to Lie? Judaism and White Lies

Telushkin references a number of times that white lies are told in the Torah.  He includes Sarah laughing when she is overhears that she will soon bear a child.  She comments that she, herself, is withered, and her husband is old.  God relates this story to Abraham, leaving out the part about Abraham being old.  “Great is peace, seeing that for its sake, even God modified the truth.” (Yevamot 65b)

Hillel and Shammai disagree about what to tell a bride.  Hillel insists that ALL brides are beautiful, Shammai insists that each bride must be taken individually.  Talmud sides with Hillel, but notes Shammai disagreement.

As Telushkin says, “Before you tell a truth that can cause only pain and inflict gratuitous hurt, ask yourself WHY you should tell it.  There are indeed times when a pretty lie is preferable to an ugly truth.”

Keep Faraway From Falsehood

Not simply, do not lie (although that is one of the Ten Sayings), but keep faraway from falsehood.  Falsehood can mean exaggeration - the salesman who knowingly exaggerates the value of of a product is obligated to return the purchase price to the buyer if the product does not live up to expectation.  Like building a fence around the Torah, we should distance ourselves from the possibility of lying by keeping away from falsehood.

I am reminded that the first question we will be asked in heavens according to the Talmud is, "Were you honest in your business dealings?"  This topic keeps is in the thorny brush of is there a difference between not lying and telling the truth.  Parents are reminded not to lie to their children, lest the children learn to lie from their parents behavior.  Telushkin reminds us of the Yiddish proverb, "A half truth is a whole lie."

Treat the other honestly.  How different might the world be if we lived according to that idea? 

Enjoy! Enjoy!

Enjoy!  Enjoy!

Is it alright to enjoy the pleasures of the world while others are suffering?  YES!  As long as you live your life morally.  Telushkin suggests that we are advised to tithe precisely so that we can use the rest of our money for the things WE want and need.  Without the principle of tithing, we might not enjoy anything - because others are suffering.  Talmud suggests that is wrong to not partake in things which are not forbidden.  In other words, don't say "No" only because others can't.  If it isn't forbidden, and the opportunity presents itself - do it.  

Who Is Rich

Who Is Rich

Rabbi Ben Zoma, "He who is happy with what he has."  Rabbi Tarfon answered the question literally, "He who has 100 vineyards, etc etc". So,ermines, the question isn't as literal as it sounds. Just like good movies (and good improv) isn't about the scene, but about the relationship win the scene.

ET isn't about a kid and an alien, but about a kid who feels abandoned with the divorce of his parents.  Chef is about a chef getting his groove back, but it's more about a father establishing a relationship with his son.  

Sometimes, before you answer the question, make sure that you understand what the question is really asking.

Cite Your Sources

Whoever repeats a statement in the name of the one who said it, brings redemption to the world.

          Pirkei Avot

Not giving credit for another’s idea is stealing.  When we present an idea, there are, according to Telushkin, two reasons for doing so.  We may be trying to impress the group with our intelligence, or we may be trying to add an idea we heard somewhere else.  If the idea is someone else’s, share - but give credit.  Otherwise you are “stealing the mind” of the other.

This one seems pretty straightforward.  But I am glad to know that our ancestors were thinking about this 2,000 years ago.

Everybody Deserves A “Tenk You.”

It bothers Telushkin when people treat service personnel (waiters, bartenders, etc) like invisible robots.  The “tenk you” is from a time he was driving with a well known European rabbi.  After a long wait in the toll line, he drove away.  The rabbi turned to him and said, “You didn’t say tenk you.”

Speaking from the other side of the counter, all customers deserve a smile and eye contact.  It never ceases to amaze me who easy it is to make someone smile when I’m on the register at Starbucks.  It doesn’t take anymore time to be polite and courteous - in fact, it might take less time.  Dour service people tend to mumble, often requiring a repeated question.  Just smile (and mean it…)  But even if you don’t mean it, you can still smile.

Treat the other person the way that you would like to be treated.

Don’t Buy Products Made By Exploited Workers

So simple, but…I love all of my Apple products.  What about the clothing I buy from LL Bean - am I sure that those are made by properly paid, properly protected workers?  No.  I could do the research and find out - but I guess I’m too lazy.  This one is so simple, but…honestly, I don’t think about it that much.  I know that I should, but I don’t.

Maybe I should start?

Standing Up For Justice

Moses - killed the Egyptian beating an Israelite slave, tried to make peace between two battling Israelites, fled to Midian and defended female shepards against marauding male shepards.  Use multiple strategies in standing up for justice.

Is standing for justice the same as standing against injustice?  Justice, justice shall you pursue we are reminded in the middle of Deuteronomy.  Is telling a lie the same as not telling the truth?  Is telling the truth the same as not lying?  Is doing right the same as not doing wrong; or doing wrong the same as not doing right?  

Telushkin continues, 60 days into the reading, to hammer home the idea that we are obligated to help the other, especially the stranger and the weakest among us.

The Torah On The Blind and the Deaf

Lev 19:14  

You shall not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling block in front of the blind.  You shall fear your God.

Telushkin begins by pointing out that cursing the deaf and ‘tripping up’ the blind is easy - the victim does not know who perpetrated the action.  BUT GOD WILL KNOW - and that is why you must fear (or stand in awe of) your God.

What caught my attention in his discussion was not the literal importance of this commandment - clearly it is cruel to perpetrate these actions, but the implication that by legislating AGAINST them, many people were guilty of doing them.  Why, Telushkin asks, would you make an injunction against an action that didn’t occur.

For me, this casts the 10 Commandments in a new light.  People don’t respect God, the Sabbath or their parents, they create graven images to which they bow down, they lie, they murder, they covet, they commit adultery.  Tin other word, the community 3,000 years ago was no different than the community today.

It is STILL difficult to act in a just and righteous way.  WHY?  Because it is so much easier NOT to.  What’s a little cheat, here and there?  A little gossip?  A little worship of ‘idols’?  Look around - everyone is doing it.  I don’t see too many people being punished (well, maybe the weak, the blind and the deaf)  But hey - it’s not me!

And that is precisely the point that I keep seeing.  It’s not me.  It’s the other.  And as long as I consider the other to be the other, then - it’s not me.  It’s not US.  It’s them.  What will it take to make the world a world of us?  Are we close to some unspeakable horror (as if there haven’t been enough already, too many to count) that will finally get everyone’s attention?  War in Gaza?  Ebola?  Climate change?  Syrian civil war?  Shooting down of Malaysian flight over Ukraine?  Incursion into the Ukraine?  ISIS?  ‘Shootings in Chicago?  How many more that I can’t name off the top of my head.

What will it take?  What will it take?

Lev 19:14  

You shall not curse the deaf, nor put a stumbling block in front of the blind.  You shall fear your God.

Telushkin begins by pointing out that cursing the deaf and ‘tripping up’ the blind is easy - the victim does not know who perpetrated the action.  BUT GOD WILL KNOW - and that is why you must fear (or stand in awe of) your God.

What caught my attention in his discussion was not the literal importance of this commandment - clearly it is cruel to perpetrate these actions, but the implication that by legislating AGAINST them, many people were guilty of doing them.  Why, Telushkin asks, would you make an injunction against an action that didn’t occur.

For me, this casts the 10 Commandments in a new light.  People don’t respect God, the Sabbath or their parents, they create graven images to which they bow down, they lie, they murder, they covet, they commit adultery.  Tin other word, the community 3,000 years ago was no different than the community today.

It is STILL difficult to act in a just and righteous way.  WHY?  Because it is so much easier NOT to.  What’s a little cheat, here and there?  A little gossip?  A little worship of ‘idols’?  Look around - everyone is doing it.  I don’t see too many people being punished (well, maybe the weak, the blind and the deaf)  But hey - it’s not me!

And that is precisely the point that I keep seeing.  It’s not me.  It’s the other.  And as long as I consider the other to be the other, then - it’s not me.  It’s not US.  It’s them.  What will it take to make the world a world of us?  Are we close to some unspeakable horror (as if there haven’t been enough already, too many to count) that will finally get everyone’s attention?  War in Gaza?  Ebola?  Climate change?  Syrian civil war?  Shooting down of Malaysian flight over Ukraine?  Incursion into the Ukraine?  ISIS?  ‘Shootings in Chicago?  How many more that I can’t name off the top of my head.

What will it take?  What will it take?

Love The Stranger

In so many ways - this seems to be the message of the book to this point.  Telushkin keeps making reference to the obligations that we have to take care of those who are in positions of weakness; whether as a stranger in a community, a child, someone sick.  In this piece, he couldn’t be any more explicit.  “When a stranger resides with you in your land, you shall not wrong him.  (Lev 19:33).  This verse follows closely after “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

But the stranger is not a neighbor, in this case - the stranger was outside the clan, the religion, the people.  Telushkin quotes the 19th C German philosopher Hermann Cohen, “In the stranger, man discovered the idea of humanity.”

It takes the other to define who we are.  We are obligated to find ways to “ensure that people are treated equally before the law’ - whether they are immigrants from South America or Palestinians in Gaza.  The problems arise precisely because this is so difficult - to treat the powerless with the same respect that we treat the powerful.  

I am intrigued to see how many other ways Telushkin will be able to make this point.

Learning From The Bad To Do Good

As Jews, we have often found ourselves in positions of deference - leaving the slavery of Egypt, we were taught not to mistreat the stranger amongst us, because we were slaves in Egypt.  We might have been taught the lesson, “Do it to him, before he does it to you.”  But that is NOT the lesson of Torah.  BECAUSE we have been slaves, we must remember to help the less fortunate.  It is an interesting lesson, certainly not the assumed lesson.  It’s not turning the other cheek to your enemy, but it might be, as Amos Oz suggests in a recent interview with a German magazine, that we offer peace and statehood to The West Bank, and then infuse them with money and supplies.  Make it possible for the Palestinians of the West Bank to succeed, and then see if the Palestinians of Gaza rise up against Hamas…

Do good.  Sometimes it’s grey, and sometimes it’s complicated, but do good whenever possible.  Shabbat shalom!